Deconfabulation and Loving Conviction
by Rose Thorne
Summary: Hiei has a heart to heart with, shock of all shockers, Kuwabara! No pairings. Proper formatting posted: 10/9/2002. Plagiarism of this or any other of my fanfics will not be tolerated.


Deconfabulation

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

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The mission was not going as planned. They had not yet found the target, and they seemed to be horribly lost, even with Hiei's Jagan and Kuwabara's rei sense. Kurama was getting worried. Koenma had said that the youkai was not high-classed, but that it also had some middle-classed bodyguards protecting it. The creature had stolen an artifact, one that, fortunately, was not dangerous. Koenma still wanted to object back, and thus they had been sent after the demon. He had neglected to tell them what the object was, which was normal for him, but also annoying. _His lack of information is going to get us all killed someday . . . The fox sighed. Yuusuke and Kuwabara were getting bored, and Hiei seemed to be getting worried, which wasn't a good thing. __The Jagan should have picked something up a long time ago . . ._

Kuwabara sighed loudly. "This is stupid! I don't feel anything around here! Let's try somewhere else."

Hiei turned to Kuwabara angrily, his eyes flashing in annoyance. "Shut up, you stupid oaf! Something's he-" He broke off as his body suddenly jerked forward, seemingly on its own. The fire demon looked at the large arrow flint protruding from his chest with a look of bewildered shock on his face before falling to his knees. He hunched over slightly, gasping, which allowed the team to see the huge wooden arrow shaft protruding from his back. The fire demon coughed painfully.

Kuwabara stepped forward in shock, watching as blood ran from Hiei's mouth. _No . . . I distracted him, and . . . "Hiei . . ."_

The youkai shuddered and looked up, gasping, his eyes clouded. "Look out . . ." They looked up to see more arrows headed toward them, and jumped out of the way, Kuwabara dragging Hiei with him. The fire demon was obviously not in a condition to move, let alone fight, a fact which escaped no one.

"Kuwabara, get Hiei out of here! We'll catch up!" Yuusuke yelled as he released his shotgun in the direction of the arrows' origin.

The ningen lifted Hiei into his arms, then frowned at how light the fire demon was. _Does he eat at all? Kuwabara stood, frozen for a few seconds, trying to remember if he'd ever seen the youkai eat. __This isn't the time or place to be standing around! he berated himself as an arrow narrowly missed his head. He turned and ran, carrying Hiei gently. After a few minutes, he slowed, feeling around with his reiki for any enemies. The creatures had stopped masking their ki with the release of the first arrow, but there were none around this area. Kuwabara sat on a rock, then looked down at Hiei, who was still cradled in his arms. The fire demon's face was drawn slightly in pain, and his breathing was coming in small gasps. "Hiei?" The fire demon's eyes opened slightly. Kuwabara frowned slightly as he saw how unfocused they were. __If he dies . . . it's my fault . . . "What should I do?"_

Hiei's eyes slid shut. "Don't know . . ." His voice was tired, and very soft. The eyes opened again. "I don't know . . . I think it went through a lung . . ." The youkai coughed painfully. "Need Kurama . . ." The eyes slid shut again, and Hiei shuddered.

"Hiei . . ." Kuwabara frowned as the fire demon didn't respond, then shook him gently. The bleary crimson eyes opened again, and the ningen was startled to see that they were the same color as the trickle of blood running from Hiei's mouth. "You can't fall asleep, Hiei. You need to stay awake. Talk or something."

The fire demon scowled weakly. "I don't talk, idiot. And put me down. I certainly don't want to die in _your arms."_

Kuwabara scowled at the comment, but gently lowered Hiei to the ground, placing him on his side. "You have to." Hiei snorted. Kuwabara frowned. "If you don't stay awake, you're not going to live long enough for Kurama to get here. And we both know that anything I say will probably put you to sleep." Hiei frowned at that. "I'd make you walk, but you'd probably fall over at this point, which would move the arrow."

Hiei was silent for a moment as he tried to think, but he found that his mind was too hazy for him to get any clear thoughts. "I have nothing to say . . ."

"What?" Kuwabara frowned. "Okay . . . Um . . . Tell me about your family."

"Don't have any," Hiei murmured tiredly.

"Oh . . ." _Ouch . . . Didn't Yuusuke and Kurama say something about him having a sister a while back . . .? They hadn't known he was listening, and he may have been taking it out of context, but . . . Plus they had stopped talking and refused to elaborate when he __had asked. Kuwabara winced. __At least this topic might keep him awake . . . "Well . . . what happened to them?"_

Hiei glared at him for a moment, then sighed. "Never had any."

The ningen's eyes widened. _He's never had any . . .? How does that work? "What d'ya mean?"_

Hiei's eyes slid shut again as he answered very softly. "Threw me away . . ." _Why am I telling him this . . .? he wondered lethargically before giving in to his body's insistence that he sleep._

Kuwabara's eyes narrowed. _Why the hell would someone throw their kid away? Hiei's an ass, but . . . "Why?" The fire demon didn't respond, and Kuwabara poked him to wake him. "Why did they throw you away?"_

". . ." Hiei fixed tired eyes on Kuwabara. "Drop it." The words were slurred. _I can't keep my eyes open . . ._

Kuwabara frowned angrily. "But it's not right!"

"What do you care?" Anger passed over Hiei's face and was gone, replaced by a tired look. "They were right."

Kuwabara frowned as he watched Hiei's face. _That's not a sleepy-tired look anymore . . . It's a tired-of-life look . . . "How can you say that?? No one deserves to be abandoned!"_

Hiei scowled, glaring at his rival. "You don't know what you're talking about." The fire demon's voice was angry, but stronger than it had been and was no longer slurred. "I'm a thief and a murderer. They had reason."

Kuwabara returned the glower. "If you'd been raised in a family instead of abandoned, things would have been different." 

Hiei frowned, thinking about that for a split second before shaking his head. "Bull shit." _That's why they abandoned me . . . I'm a lowly Forbidden Child, from whom nothing good can come . . . Wasn't he?_

Kuwabara shook his head. "It's not bull shit. And I don't know why you bother with your sister if she was raised by people like that. She's probably a spoiled brat."

"She. Is. Not." Hiei's voice was like ice. _What the hell does he think he knows?_

"And how would you know?"

Hiei seethed. "Because I've met her!"

"Oh." Kuwabara blinked. "Well . . . What did she say to you?"

"She doesn't know, you fool," the fire demon growled, then immediately shut his mouth. _K'so__ . . . If he doesn't put two and two together now, he'll officially be a complete moron. Hiei knew that, while Kuwabara was a bit slow, he definitely wasn't a complete idiot. The fire demon berated himself angrily. __Stupid.___

The ningen stared at him. "Didn't you tell her?" Hiei looked away, cursing himself. "Why?"

"Forget about it. It's not your concern." _Damnit__ . . . I lost control . . . Said too much. He's going to figure it out . . ._

"I'm not going to forget about it, shrimp. Why didn't you tell her? Maybe she's looking for you too, like Yukin-" He broke off and stared at Hiei. _Oh, gods . . . Why didn't I realize before . . .? The lack of height, the eyes, the looks he gives her, his protectiveness of her . . . "You're Yukina's brother, aren't you?" The fire demon refused to look at him, giving Kuwabara the answer. The ningen grabbed Hiei by his white scarf, pulling him half off the ground, anger taking him over. "Why the hell haven't you told her?!" Hiei let out a short, pained noise as the arrow shaft moved. Kuwabara immediately came to his senses and gently lay him back down._

Hiei lay on the ground, concentrating on not passing out for a few minutes. _Gods damned it . . . I should've just kept my mouth shut . . . He scowled as Kuwabara repeated the question. __He's not going to leave me alone . . . Not now . . . "Look at me, you moron. I don't deserve to be associated with someone so pure. And she doesn't deserve to be associated with someone as vile as me. I would destroy her."_

_How does that make sense . . .? Kuwabara stared at him for a moment. "__You are the one who has no idea. Do you have any idea how many times she's told me that she wishes you were her brother? She cares about you, Hiei!"_

"I don't deserve it." _Damnit__ . . ._

_What . . .? Kuwabara's mouth dropped open in shock. "You honestly believe that?"_

_I just can't keep my damned mouth shut today, can I? I can't get my mind to work properly . . . Hiei scowled at nothing. "It's the truth." __I'm nothing . . . Worthless . . ._

"Bull. Yukina loves her brother unconditionally." Kuwabara sighed. "Hiei, that kind of love is never conditional."

"You're full of shit," Hiei muttered. _K'so__! Why do I keep talking? Why can't I stop? I don't want to tell this buffoon everything . . . do I? But once he had started to speak, it was like he had opened a dam. The words kept flowing. "If that were true, why the hell did the Koorime toss me over the side of the island in the first place?"_

Kuwabara frowned. _That he wasn't sure about . . . He'd heard something about racial purity from Yukina, but she obviously had been against it and had become upset when he had asked. "Yukina doesn't care about that. If you told her, you would see."_

Hiei closed his eyes and gave up on trying to censor himself. _He's not going to let it go . . . "My entire life has been nothing by bad luck. I'm tired of hoping for no damned reason and getting disappointed over and over again. If I had the courage, I would have given up and let myself be killed along time ago. I'm tired of living for nothing." __K'so__ . . . Why can't he leave me alone . . .? His chest was beginning to ache, but not because of the arrow. __I don't want to think about this . . ._

_He's suicidal . . .? No . . . He's just tired of being let down . . . Kuwabara pushed down the pity he was feeling for the fire demon, knowing that Hiei would not appreciate it. "What are you talking about? You have friends now! You have us!"_

"I don't deserve friends." The fire demon fisted his hand in his coat, wincing a bit as the fabric pulled at the arrow. _Leave me the hell alone . . ._

"Hiei, friends aren't something you have to earn."

"Hn."

Avenue of discussion closed. Kuwabara scowled. _I don't know why I care . . . but I want to reach him . . . "You should tell Yukina the truth."_

Hiei's eyes snapped open as he snarled at the ningen. "Mind your own fucking business. If you tell her, I'll kill you."

_Bingo. Got a reaction. "Liar." Kuwabara knew he was pushing it, but he figured he'd take advantage of Hiei's inability to move while it lasted. "If you did, Yukina would be upset."_

"And if you tell her, upsetting her won't matter anymore because knowing would destroy her!"

The ningen stared at Hiei for a moment, wondering how to continue. _He really thinks he'd hurt her . . . That's really sad . . . It was shocking to think that he was beginning to understand his rival. An idea popped into his head, and he changed avenues of conversation. "You really think she's that weak?" Kuwabara watched as Hiei's mouth opened, then closed again. __Got him. "You know why I think you don't want to tell her?"_

Hiei recovered quickly and glowered. "Don't presume to know me, ningen." His voice held a hint of uncertainty, though, indicating that he was thinking.

Kuwabara plowed on. "I think that you're afraid that she might accept you. And I don't think you know how to handle that possibility because you're too busy wallowing in self-depreciation. If she accepts you, your pre-conceived notion that nobody gives a damned because you're the result of a broken taboo will be shattered, and I think you've built your entire life on that." The ningen watched Hiei, noting that he seemed to be shocked . . . and thinking. _Good. "I never said that __I was going to tell her. __You need to be the one to tell her because __you're the one she needs to hear it from."_

Hiei remained silent. Kuwabara watched him for a while, realizing that he had said all he needed to say_. If I say anything more, he'll block it off and stop thinking about it. The ningen sighed, wondering when Yuusuke and Kurama were going to get done battling the youkai that had attacked. He frowned as he sensed the two coming closer, slowly. "They're coming, but it looks like one of them is hurt."_

Hiei spoke, his voice soft. "Yuusuke's the one who's hurt. Kurama's trying to carry him, but he's injured too." Kuwabara glanced at him curiously, and the fire demon pointed to his Jagan.

"Fine. I'm gonna go grab Yuusuke. Kurama can probably carry you since you're smaller." Kuwabara waited for Hiei's usual insult back, but it never came. The ningen shrugged, heading off toward his other comrades.

Kurama saw him coming and grinned thankfully. "Thank Inari. I didn't know where you two were. How's Hiei?"

_They know that he's Yukina's brother . . . I'm not going to let them know that I know too now. That's between Hiei and me. Besides, if I say anything, Kurama'll lecture me. Best to act normal and annoyed, for now. Kuwabara hefted Yuusuke over his shoulder and made a face. "Being a jerk, as usual. He didn't like me carrying him, or I'd've taken him to Yukina. He says he thinks the arrow went through a lung, but I don't know how bad it is. You should go check."_

"Hai." Kurama limped ahead, reaching Hiei quickly and kneeling to check on him. Kuwabara reached them and waited. The redhead carefully snapped most of the arrow shaft off, frowned. "His lung is slowly filling with blood. I want to get this arrow out of him so his body can begin to naturally heal while we're on our way back to the Ningenkai . . . but . . ." He trailed off.

Kuwabara frowned. "But what?"

Kurama sighed. "His lung might collapse. But if something happens while that arrow is in him, he could sustain massive internal damage . . ."

Hiei scowled. "I'm right here, so stop talking about me. Take the damned arrow out." Kurama blinked at him. "It's hard to breath with it in," the fire demon said softly.

Kurama nodded, then sighed. "This is going to hurt, but you need to stay still . . . I'll try to do this as quickly as possible." He grew a leaf dagger and trimmed and dulled the jagged edge around where he had snapped the arrow shaft. The redhead then yanked the arrow shaft from Hiei's back in one smooth motion. The fire demon let out a short cry of pain, And Kurama winced. "I told you it would hurt . . ." His words fell on deaf ears; Hiei had passed out.

The fox sighed, then carefully pulled the cloak from Hiei and removed the fire demon's shirt, getting out bandages to wrap his wound to staunch the flow of blood. Kurama frowned, listening to Hiei's breathing, which had become raspy and weak. "K'so. His lung _did collapse. We need to get to Yukina as soon as possible." He quickly wrapped Hiei's wound and redressed him, then picked him up, holding him as one would hold an infant. "Let's go." They hurried toward the gate._

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Hikari has taught me well. Making up titles for fanfiction is fun. Confabulation is the fabrication or invention of details to make up for lost memory. De- would make it undoing the fabrication. Hiei may not have lost his memory, but he did make up the details that led him to refuse to tell Yukina. 

I honestly think that Kuwabara is one character that is horribly overlooked, admittedly, in my own fanfiction as well. I honestly like him, though. He's a good, honest person with a rather interesting code of honor. I haven't been very nice to him in the past, but I'm honestly trying to change that in my newer fanfiction because he really _is a great character. Not only that, but I really think he views Hiei as a friend, even if Hiei doesn't see it or acknowledge it if he __does see it. Or maybe, in some weird Hieiesque way, he does acknowledge it by sniping back at Kuwabara rather than gutting him when the ningen insults him. There's some rather interesting character interaction between the two, and I enjoy watching/reading it. Especially if it's Utopian Trunks' fic "Kyuu na Chigai," in which Hiei and Kuwabara have a SNAPS competition._

There will be a second part to this fic. "Loving Conviction." Hence the title of the fic, "Deconfabulation and Loving Conviction." It's in the works of being written. Don't expect it anytime soon. *glares in the direction of Flux and Suicide* _Those two keep me busy._

Now for a little self-advertisement. *grins at the groans* I am insane. Really, I am. I have something that I've been working on for months up and getting ready to go. I have begun . . . *drum roll* . . . A Yu Yu Hakusho Yaoi Fanfiction contest. It's called Green Grapes and Lemonade. I'm going to post the link, so keep your pants on, but first, I want to say that I want people to read the Ientire site/I (or what's up so far) before emailing me questions. Submission does not start until December 1st. Therefore, I'm not posting nomination information until about a week beforehand. Okay, now for the link, so you all can pounce on it and give it love . . . Do you really want the link . . .? Yes? Are you _sure? *winces* Seesh! Alright already. Here's the link: http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/grapesnlemons/ Enjoy!_

And Yamino and I figured out that if you save Microsoft Word documents with italics and stuff as HTML files, the coding will show up on ff.net. YAY!! So this is the _fixed version!_


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